White or black skin, straight or curly hair, ugly or handsome ... what else does our appearance matter? Let us assume that we are all different in many ways and the same in others. And that we are all important, neither better nor worse, neither more nor less. That is the message that I have always sought to pass on to my daughter since she was very little. That it does not matter what color or nationality a person has, and their good virtues and attitudes do, because I believe that children are not born racists, who makes them that way are the people who live with them.
In my house we are all different. My husband has fair skin and brown hair, I have brown skin and straight black hair, and our daughter is a brunette with curly hair. We look like the 'Benetton family'! but we are very similar, in some things almost the same, in our way of being, thinking, feeling and acting. Apart from that, even though we have dual nationality, we live in a country that is not the one we were born in, where another language is spoken and has other customs that are very different from those of our country of origin. Being different in our appearance and in our language has never been a problem for us, indeed, we see it as a wealth, because that is how we have educated ourselves.
However, that does not always happen. There are people who do not tolerate or accept what is different. Children, when they are very young, only identify as male or female, they are not able to categorize someone by their race, but as they grow and observe the reactions of their parents, teachers, friends ..., they can or do not look with discriminating eyes at those who are different. For this reason, I think it is very important that we talk about races with our children, naturally, to avoid racial discrimination.
I am not an expert in the prevention of racial discrimination, but from my experience, I leave you some answers that you can give your son according to what he asks you:
Why does this girl have a different skin color?
'We all have a different skin color. Some are lighter, others are darker. 'You can give examples such as:' Our skin is like the feathers of birds or the wings of butterflies. Although they are the same animal or insect, there is no butterfly that has the same wing design and color as the other. And the clouds, the nice thing is that they are different. true?'.
Why is my hair straight and yours curly?
Tell your child that we are not all the same physically even if we are mothers and sons. He points out that in families, a daughter does not have to resemble her father or mother. Is not always that way.
And if your child ever comes home making a racist comment, or manages to label the other as 'the black girl', 'the Chinese boy' or 'the blond boy', correct him saying that they have to call the people by name, not by skin color or appearance. And one piece of advice: make sure your child plays with children of different races, of different languages or social conditions. There is nothing like practice to break down taboos and prejudices.
These days I found a video on the internet of a 4-year-old girl, whom her colleague called her ugly. Look at the answer the girl gave him. It seemed smart and very successful to me. Look at the video:
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