As parents, we all want the best for our little ones, that they do not suffer and that they do not lack anything. In this giving them everything we think they need, and in trying to avoid the unpleasant, we often fall into pampering them excessively.
Pampering is not harmful, in fact it is necessary and good, but when we pamper excessively, we spoil, which in the long run (and not so long) can have negative consequences for the child, (and for parents). How can it affect the child?
A spoiled child, generally hyperported, is in the long run a tyrant, dependent, insecure, not very autonomous child, with a low tolerance for frustration and perhaps with difficulties in relating to his peers, which will not only affect his life as a child, but it can also condition their adult life.
We must make it clear what we mean when we talk about a spoiled child. We not only pamper children when we give them everything they ask for and at the moment they ask for it (toys, food, clothes ...). When we try to avoid all kinds of suffering, when we protect them excessively, when we take care of their things (school backpack, agendas, homework, chores ...), we are pampering our children.
You have to be very clear that "no" helps children grow. What makes a child suffer is not that we say no to them, but that we give them everything they want, funny right? If I always give him everything he asks for and let him do what he wants, how will he cope when the world denies him something now or in the future? He won't, and that's when he really will have a hard time.
Therefore we can say that excessive pampering has a negative influence on children and causes:
- Be children with low tolerance for frustration, and find it difficult to manage their emotions.
- Sean less autonomous and more dependent.
- They claim to be the center of attention.
- They have more tantrums and get more angry. They are more tyrants.
- They have more difficulty managing and resolving conflicts.
- It costs them more put yourself in the place of others.
- Before mistakes or failures tend to blame others.
- They can develop low self-esteem.
All this influences the development of the child, and the adult who will be tomorrow. As parents, some guidelines to keep in mind are:
- Saying "no" is good, "no" helps children grow.
- Know how to manage tantrums.
- Give responsibility to childrenFrom packing their backpack to setting the table and making them responsible for their tasks.
- Do not do things to childrenWhatever they are able to do, it is good that they do, that gives them autonomy, and if they are autonomous they are safe and happier. Parents accompany and teach, but we do not do everything.
- Do not overprotect. We cannot prevent children from falling, so it is best to teach them to get up.
- Correct from affection, with positive language, but correct inappropriate behaviors and behaviors.
Ultimately, it is about helping and teaching them to be autonomous people, and that they know how to face the world around them so that they are happy today and tomorrow. And this is not always an easy task, so when faced with any difficulty, it is best to advise us and go to the experts.
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